Carry Me (Sometimes)

Today, I was thinking about the Footprints in the Sand poem, and as I pondered the thought of God the Father carrying me, his daughter, I was inspired in a particular way by the meditation that followed. 

As I was imaging the Lord holding me in His arms, I began to think of the different reasons a man might carry his daughter. 

The first reason that came to mind was because of weariness. My family takes occasional hikes together, and, when I was little, I wouldn't be able to hike for as long as my parents. When I reached the point that I felt overcome with exhaustion, my dad would pick me up and place me on his shoulders, carrying me for the remainder of the journey. Sometimes, I feel like I am so worn out and overwhelmed, that all I can do is trust the Lord to bring me through it. When I am on the brink of collapse and don't think I can go any further, the Lord is there to carry me through the difficulties. 

The second circumstance is immediate danger. Say a child is trapped in a burning house. A loving father would run into the flames and carry his daughter to safety. Just like this, I have seen instances in my life that the Lord has carried me through chaos and sin. He has rescued me at the crucial moment, saving me from the lies of Satan and the destruction of our relationship. 

Lastly, a father carries his daughter merely out of love. A father picks up his beloved child and holds her in his arms to show his affection and express the love that words cannot comprehend. I have experienced this love as the Lord has showered His love upon me in times of extreme joy and peacefulness. I feel as if He is carrying me through life, and I worry about nothing, because I am wrapped in His loving embrace.  

But, the Lord cannot always be carrying me.

There are those times in life when there are two sets of footprints in the sand. When God walked beside me without direct intervention. 

It makes sense. If a person is always carried, their muscles will deteriorate. They won't even be able to stand on their own. We weren't made to be carried through life. 

Our spiritual lives can be like a marathon. You don't wake up one morning and decide to run a marathon that day. Likewise, you do not just become a saint in a day. It takes training. It requires discipline. The Lord cannot carry us through every instance of pain or difficulty. Maybe these are crucial moments in building virtue or preparing you for something in the future. If a runner was in the middle of a run, and someone picked them up and carried them, just because they were having a tough time, that would be more harmful than helpful to the runner. If he or she is serious about their goal to run a marathon, he or she will need all the necessary training without skipping out on workouts. Any interference will only hinder their growth.

 

So, how can I get mad at God for not carrying me through difficulties when only He sees the big picture? How can I lament my daily challenges because I don't see the potential for growing in virtue? We are called to thank God for all things. He alone knows what will sanctify us despite our sin and weakness. And aren't we all called to be saints? (Yes!) 

Happiness

Life, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Happiness. These are the three unalienable rights "guaranteed" to us right in the beginning of the Declaration of Independence. I put guaranteed in quotes only because the degree of which we are able to carry these out is more or less debatable, but I digress. It is interesting that the big FF's (founding fathers) included the "pursuit of happiness" in the rather exclusive V.I.P. list of what it meant to declare independence. Hmm. Where the heck did Jefferson get this from??

Well, upon pondering this question, I decided to use my skills as a student to research and uncover the mysteries of this part of our nation's Declaration of Independence. Aka, I typed it in Google, and the first source seemed pretty legit. (It even had sources cited... I trust it.) In this article, I learned that when Jefferson wrote about the pursuit of happiness, it wasn't the first time someone had brought up this phrase (at least that's what Carol Hamilton argues). Instead, it is suggested that in 1690 our dear friend from the pages of many a history book, John Locke, wrote in an essay, "The necessity of pursuing happiness is the foundation of liberty." I found that very interesting. So, essentially, freedom is equivocated with chasing after happiness.

I guess the next question I was confronted with is: what is happiness? It is an age-old question that has left even the world's most successful people scrambling for an answer. How can we chase something we can't even identify? We're like Ponce de Leon perpetually searching for the fountain of youth that may or may not exist. What do we do when we don't understand something? Pretend we do, naturally. As a culture we have made up our own guidelines as to what exactly happiness is. Happiness is doing whatever you want to do. Happiness is making the most money. Happiness is seeking pleasure. Happiness is watching all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls and devouring a two-pound bar of chocolate. Well, if that's what happiness is, why are we so unhappy? America should be the happiest place on Earth! (Sorry Disney World, I'm expanding your claim to fame.) But are we happy?

Hmmm. Okay, so maybe this "pursuit of happiness" John Locke talks about has become a little muddled across the years. In my own experience, I have come to realize that the only true happiness actually goes by a different name: joy. If you don't know what I mean, let me explain. Joy is that deep feeling of peace and contentment you experience that can only come from God. Wow. I'm not very good at explaining it. Have you ever been happy and felt like nothing could shake it? That's joy. Ever see a sunset or sunrise or pass through beautiful landscape and you can't help but smile because it's so beautiful? That's joy. Joy is a gift. It is a gift of the Holy Spirit, and it is more genuine than any sort of sugar high or adrenaline rush.

On the topic of happiness, I have to say, I agree with François-Xavier Nguyễn Văn Thuận who so eloquently states in his book The Road of Hope, "This is the secret of happiness: to have but one will with God." God wills to give us joy through the Holy Spirit. To be of the same will of God is not only to accept His trials, but to accept His joy.

Unfortunately, there is no way I can convince modern America of this truth. Our society is plagued with a false perception of happiness. I don't know what Jefferson foresaw when he included "the pursuit of happiness" in the unalienable rights, but I have a feeling he wouldn't like what he saw in today's society. We think we are pursuing happiness, but in actuality, the things we pursue are a dead end. The U.S. was intended to be one nation, under GOD. Our society will never be happy until it recognizes that we remain under God. We are not God.

As Blessed Mother Teresa once said, “God doesn't require us to succeed, he only requires that you try.” I think that it is about time we actually tried to pursue genuine happiness by unifying our own will with God's. It is then that we will find true joy. 

Learn from the words of a modern saint

Pictures from:
www.peterbroderick.com
blessingsdivine.wordpress.com

Broken

Today, I was caught up a little in reminiscing and fondly recalled some of my childhood memories. There were tales of mischief and shenanigans mixed in with some brattiness and parental discipline. You know, all the basic formation of my entire personality and such. Good times. Well, amidst the episodes playing back in my mind was one particular Christmas a few years back.

Pretty neat, huh? Check out that joint action!

When I say a few, I mean over a decade. I was probably around four or five years old. I think? We'll go with that. Young enough to get pretty excited over the new gymnast Barbie I had just unwrapped. This thing was the bees knees. She bent at all of the joints, and not just a little rubber flexibility, I mean she ACTUALLY HAD JOINTS! It was kind of a big deal. I immediately opened the package and began to play with her, leaving the rest of my presents an abandoned mess on the floor. The one thing I didn't like about this Barbie was her outfit. She wore a wrist-to-ankle leotard exploding with U.S. pride. It was essentially an elastic flag stretched around her body. Well, I really wanted my new Barbie to try out some of the pretty dresses I had, so I tried to get her current outfit off. This was a bad decision. As I gripped her head and tried to peel off the leotard, something else gave way first: her head. Here I was with a brand new, headless Barbie gymnast. My face flushed and I started to shake as I ran to my dad. 

        "Daddy, daddy! I broke her! Can you fix it? Can you put her head back?" I was utterly distraught as I carefully placed the broken doll in his hands, tears welling up in my eyes.

        "Here, let me see it." He took the doll and popped the head back into place. Everything was good, right? No. Wrong. I don't know if you have ever popped the head off of a Barbie before, but when you try to put it back on, it doesn't attach the same way it came off. You just jam it back onto the neck. It stays on, but the head, in effect, swallows up the entire neck, leaving you with a neckless Barbie. This, in my world at the time, was complete tragedy. My new doll would never be the same! Oh, the horror! 

         "But now her neck's gone, daddy!"

         "I'm sorry, hun, but we can't just get you a new one, you just got this! You can still play with her just the same." He gave me a sad smile and picked me up onto his lap, offering consolation to his little girl. 

I was in adoration today recalling this incident when an image flashed into my mind. This time, it wasn't a memory. It was me, running to my Father. Not the dad I was blessed with here on Earth, but the Father I was created by and created for. My heavenly Father. I was running to him, sad and upset, but hopeful. I could hear myself in a childlike voice cry out to him, "Daddy, Daddy! I'm broken," I look desperately at the Father before me, "Can you fix me?"And unlike with the Barbie, He just smiles at me and says, "Come." 

Tears came to my eyes as this image played through my mind. Isn't this the truth of God's love for us? We are broken. And God doesn't want to just give us a new heart and say, "Oh, here you go. Now be careful with this one. I'll give it to you this time, but next time, you're on your own." (I got that a lot from my own parents here on Earth...) No, He just says, "Come to me and let me fix you." 

"You will seek me and will find me when yo seek me with all your heart."

-Jeremiah 29:13

Happy New Year!

It's a new year. 2013 has officially began.

So, what does that mean? It was under 10 minutes until the ball drop when I found myself feeling alone in a house full of my friends. You know, that feeling when you know you should be happy, but you aren't? Yeah, that one. Well, thoughts of last New Year's pried their way into my mind. In the face of these memories, in the despair of these mistakes, an unexpected feeling overcame me: thanks.

Yes. I was thankful. I was thankful for the mistakes and the sadness and the loneliness, because I could recognize something greater now in my life.

It doesn't matter how I dress myself up or paint myself with makeup, because at the end of the day, it all comes off, and I'm left to face my Maker. He is the One who makes the decision to give me another day. He is the One who has brought me out of times of sadness and despair. He is the One who has irreversibly changed my life for the better, and the One who knows what is really best for my life.

So this new year, I am excited to say that no matter what follows in the next 365 days, it will be part of a Divine Plan. And I am thankful.

Thirsty for Christ

Today is a Thursday. To me, that means I get to relax a little bit. I don't have class on Fridays, so Thursday is my day to unwind for the weekend. Maybe visit a friend or read a book. Basically just lay low. For many of my peers, however, Thursday holds a different meaning. If any of you are familiar with college students, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. Yes, Thirsty Thursday.

What is Thirsty Thursday? Well, apparently, after a long week of tough classes and serious business, a large percentage of college kids get really thirsty for alcohol and rowdy behavior around this time of the week. "Wow, what a culturally rich tradition,"you might say. Yeah, not so much. I'm not really into that.

The sad thing is, I have been there though. And it's not just a fun time of unwinding from the week.

I look at my fellow brothers and sisters stumbling around, and I feel myself getting angry. Do they not realize how beautiful their lives are?! Do they not know what they are doing to themselves?

They indeed are thirsty.

They are not thirsty for jello shots or Bud Light. They are thirsty for the blood of Christ.

"but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.
Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
John 4:14

Deep in their hearts, God has placed a desire. A desire to be loved by Him. But they don't know that. What they know is that they feel a longing to be loved, a desire to feel wanted, included. For women, a desire to be told they are beautiful.

I see these women who really do look beautiful. They spend hours doing their makeup, their hair, picking out an outfit. All of this time is spent so that when they go out, someone will notice them. They are searching for this affirmation that, yes, they are beautiful. And maybe someone will want them. Alcohol will make them feel more fun, braver. A guy will tell them how attractive they are, or dance with them, or take things further.

But they don't think about what they're really doing. All they know is when someone tells them they are beautiful, they feel good. When guys look at them, they feel important, special. When a man touches them, they feel loved.

But it is momentary.

The next morning, they are bitter. Tired. Broken.

If only they knew how beautiful God made them to be. If only they knew how intimately God knows them. If only they realized how much God loves them. If only they knew another way of life. If only they understood why they are hurting.

If only.

Tonight, I am distressed, because these are my sisters. I wish I could show them God's love, but I just don't know how. The need is so great, and I am so imperfect.

We live in a thirsty culture, a culture thirsty for love.

All I can do is pray. I pray because there is hope. I know there is hope, because I am sitting here writing this right now. God turned my life around, and I know I have a lot of people to thank who have been out there praying for me along the way. So, if you know of anyone who is caught in this deathtrap, please join me in praying for them. Pray with all of your might, because these people need God. They are dehydrated and weak. They have an unquenchable thirst for something they have never encountered. Their hearts yearn for more than cheap liquor and sexual flippancy.

They were made to be loved.

Protagonist of the World

Right now I am reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan (AWESOME BOOK!!). In it, Chan describes the history of the world as a movie, and the main character is God. In this "movie" of life, we are only extras, not even supporting characters. Our significance to the main plot is extremely puny. One blink and you miss us. But we were put in this movie for a reason (the extras are necessary in movies, otherwise they wouldn't be paid to appear...). I really like this analogy. A lot. Here's why.

First of all, Chan talks about how dumb it would be if you were an extra in a movie and you invited all of your friends to "come see this movie about yourself." Your friends would maybe see the back of your head. Maybe they would miss you altogether. They would probably think you were an idiot for thinking that a movie you barely appeared in was about you. Don't you think that would be pretty arrogant? Uhhh, duh! Well, I hate to burst your bubble if you have been living in self-obsession, but that's kind of the way life works too. Believe it or not, life is NOT about you. Shocked? Don't be. It's just common sense. The history of the earth goes back billions of years. And trillions of people have lived on it over that period of time. Your life doesn't really mean much when you look at it like that.

The world doesn't revolve around you. Get it? 

But don't get depressed about your life just yet! Let me just remind you, that though you might be an extra in this movie, you are still necessary. You were chosen to walk past the camera for that half a second for a reason! Without extras in a movie, it would be a pretty terrible movie... more like a soap opera or something. You are there to set the scene, to call attention to the main character (that's God, remember?). But the thing about that is, you're not supposed to call attention to yourself. This is where I personally tend to mess up.

I was just thinking about this today. I seem to think that I am running my own little movie right now and not getting the big picture. Continuing this "movie of life" analogy, right now everyone is trying to have their own subplots, even though they are just extras, not focusing on the main point of life (...God). No wonder there is so much confusion and distractions! How can anybody figure out what the purpose and focus of life is if everybody thinks it is about themselves! We are doing a terrible job of fulfilling our role. Instead of pointing attention to God and just playing our part as God intended, we are in the background waving our hands shouting, "Look at me! Look at me!" All this does is create chaos and distractions, because no matter how hard we try, the world will NEVER revolve around us. Never. Ever.

The thing is, we all see ourselves as the protagonists of our own lives, and we think that everybody else should want to know all about us because we are so interesting and awesome. Yes, we are all unique, but who made that so? God. Yes, we all have different situations, different sufferings, different glory stories to share. But who gave them all to us? God. While it's okay to talk about these things (it's good to share and talk to people, I'm not saying that's bad at all!), we just need to keep that from being the FOCUS of our lives. Simply put, we could all use a dose of humility. (Check out the Litany of Humility on the bottom of the PRAY page here on my blog!) Seriously. Francis Chan really called me out on my own arrogance as I was reading his book, and I can't imagine that I'm the only one with this problem.

Putting Christ at the center of our lives means to stop putting ourselves in the spotlight and point all of the glory and honor towards God, the real protagonist and hero of the world. The King and Savior.

To put in perspective how worthy God is as the center of not only your life, but of every single living, breathing person, watch this video:

Do you know Him? If you do, adore Him for His crazy love. Step out of the spotlight, put God at the center, and give Him the glory He deserves. 

Ready to Fight

This past week I had the opportunity to spend 8 amazing days on retreat. Actually, no. The word "retreat" is the wrong word. Technically, yes, it was a religious retreat. But I don't think that it describes the true nature of this quality time with God. If I were to pick a word for this "retreat" I would call it a rally. A battle rally for the Lord. Sounds pretty intense, right? It was. And let me tell you, God was really working to get his troops ready for war.

Arming us with the Holy Spirit... YEAH! 

Let me describe to you my fellow warriors who gathered with me. 220(ish) college undergraduates from all over the country ranging in holiness from just baptized to living saint. Many among the throngs are characterized by their zeal for the Lord God Jesus Christ, evident in praise and worship, conversations, joy, and love. Coming from Texas, New Jersey, Minnesota, Florida, Arizona, and other various states, they all have a different standard of the "normal way to talk," but are united in their ultimate goal: to win the world for God. How will they accomplish this? By bringing the gospel to the country, one college campus at a time. They are willing to go out and live the gospel and to put Christ back in Christian.

So, right now you might be thinking... "gosh, all of these college students are wasting their youth! This is their time to have a little fun, not let religion make them into little goody two-shoes who won't be able to enjoy their college experience before they become real people in the world..." STOP. Don't think that. Nothing about this is a waste!! We are not being brainwashed nor are we doing this out of some sort of obligation. You might be wondering, what exactly makes a group of 220 college kids want to risk their comfort, social lives, pride, and reputation to fight for Christ? I have a couple good reasons.

First of all, well, I mean Jesus did like die to save us from our sins. But, you know, no big. People kind of forget about that one all of the time... (seriously... isn't that reason enough??) And secondly, the thing is, God let us in on a little bit of a secret. See, whether we acknowledge it or not, the whole world is actually in a giant war of good v. evil... God v. Satan... Us v. Sin. It's like aliens v. predators on steroids. And the scariest part is that people actually deny that it's happening! So, not only has God told us about this massive war, but He told us another secret: He wins. Period. Exclamation point. Pick a punctuation. Now you might be thinking, "hey now, hold the phone. So you're telling me you already know the end of the story?" Duh. Revelations. We all have access to it. Why does this always surprise people? I can't give you a play by play, but I get the main points: Jesus and Satan have an epic showdown, and guess who wins? We've been over this.

My money's on Jesus.

I know who wins this war. I want to be on the winning side. If God's love wasn't enough to set me on fire to live for Him (which it really is), then I'm still making the strategic decision and sticking with the side that will be victorious in the end.

Think I'm crazy? Well, all I have to say about that is I'd rather be crazy and fighting for a God who saves than going crazy trying to find happiness in a world without love. (God=Love... basic Christian equation). Because here's the thing: there's really nothing else worth fighting for.